This week has provided the country with political gossip gold that is just too hard to pass up.

While I usually write about one incident of particular annoyance, this time I just simply couldn’t pick. So enjoy this short and sweet overview of the shit that is going down in the not so adorable world of politics.

BIG AND NOT SO SURPRISING NEWS

Today, Rick Perry (the man with an overwhelming amount of political hubris) has officially announced that he has suspended his campaign for the Republican presidential nomination and decided to endorse the man who is his own biggest fan, Newt Gingrich.

Seriously Rick? You are just now realizing you didn’t have a chance in hell of winning the nomination? The rest of America figured that out a long time ago so thank you for finally catching up. Oh and I love how openly hypocritical you are in your decision to immediately endorse Gingrich, a man you and your team have publically lambasted for months now… Way to go, sell out.

After all your ill-begotten politically charged notions, don’t hold your breath now that you are realizing you opinions aren’t worth their weight in gold.

POLITICAL EX FACTOR

Speaking of Newt Gingrich, this is a VERY special and exciting week for him because tonight ABC news’s “Nightline” will air segments of an interview with his ex-wife…………OOPSIE.

I just LOVE this. Newt’s ex-wife Marianne Gingrich is divulging in a scandalous tell all about one of the most notoriously hypocritical men in the political game. Marianne Gingrich explains in her interview that Newt adamantly wanted an “open marriage” so that he could justify having a six-year affair with his then political aide and now wife. The lovely Marianne continues to explain that the man whose political stance supports “traditional marriage” wanted her to accepted the fact that he had a mistress, which is something Marianne could not get on board with.

OH REALLY?? In 2011 Newt Gingrich said: “I do believe that marriage is between a man and a woman. I do believe and we have every right to defend a 3,000-year clear record that that’s what marriage is. And I don’t think we should be intimidated against it”

Let me get this straight, a traditional marriage is between a man and woman? Or a man and many women? Last I checked, fucking someone who isn’t your wife doesn’t fall in the realm of “traditional”

So Newt Gingrich wants to prevent Gays from marrying because its not traditional but since cheating has in recent years become a marriage tradition in heterosexual couples that’s okay?

Gay couples aren’t ruining the sanctity of marriage….people like Newt Gingrich are. Newt can take his tradition and shove it as far as I am concerned.

PIPA and SOPA

No, these are not the names of the latest celebrity couple; these are the names of two similar pieces of legislation that make a joke out of the first amendment. While there are some solid ideas I can get behind in these bills, over all they are generic garbage and poorly written works to limit free speech and free knowledge on the Internet. Not to mention, PIPA and SOPA could make it nearly impossible for start up companies to make a name for them selves or to find investors.

In opposition of PIPA and SOPA major websites like Wikipedia, Google, and others protested by going dark and/or adding information to their sites to inform readers of the potential destructive nature that accompanies the passing of these two bills.

SAME SHIT, DIFFERENT DAY.

The candidates for the Republican presidential nomination are still spending millions of dollars on attack adds against each other and President Obama, and now Obama’s re-election campaign is underway with new ads attacking conservative groups that attack him. At this point, it is all one big hot mess that makes the political campaign world look like one never-ending episode of Gossip Girl.

Republicans and Democrats, you all have skeletons in your closet, you have all made horrible and (lets hope) regrettable politically spurred votes so stop wasting money on your personal vendetta’s against the other that have zero bearing on the problems this nation faces and start focusing on things that are relevant to issues the people of this great nation care about.

That is all…..YATZEE